I currently look like this because I want to look like SoCal Jesus for the Christmas season.
This morning as I biked up 7th street, I stopped roadside to text someone. While I was texting, a Kia Soul with the passenger window rolled down pulled up along side me. There’s a guy in it, leaning over. “Dude” he says. I look over. He continues, “I know you buy a lot of Rockstars, and uh [holds up two Monsters] a woman gave these to me and I don’t drink them, you want ’em?”
I was surprised and said, “No no, that’s fine, those particular Monsters have sugar in them and I only do the fake cancer-causing sugars ha ha.” Completely serious, he parries with, “Ok man, you sure? They gave ’em to me and I don’t have any use for them.”
I said, “Thanks I appreciate the thought,” and we both rode off our separate ways.
As I biked away I started thinking wow, that was really nice. Then I was like wait a minute, how does he know I drink a lot of Rockstars? I’ve never seen this guy ever. Am I famous for this? If so, that’s a problem, right? Or did he think I was homeless and saw me at the 7-11 buying Rockstars where I blended in with all the homeless people and addicts at the addict store with my bike and backpack looking like SoCal Jesus and paying for the Rockstars in a huge pile of change my wife refuses to spend but I do, and he felt bad for me and tried to give me some Monsters?
7-11 photo by Todd Mecklem