Sarcasm.com

Well, the EVDO service has been working fine for two weeks now, and I haven’t had to call customer service. I’m getting great speeds:

My bill had 2 “web minutes” used for $0.40, but I don’t dare call them.

Right.

So, if you bore yourself with the last post, you’ll note after the screwup there, they finally promised me really and truly that my credit card was charged to pay my deposit, and that I would have service restored in about an hour.

That was at 6pm.

So I did a little work, tried again at 8pm, still nothing. So I called and put Sprint on speakerphone again for the 20 minute hold, then when I got a person, they told me that what the previous person meant was 4 hours until I’d be turned back on.

So at 11:15pm, still nothing. So I called Sprint back (I’m rapidly approaching the number of calls that get one booted from their customer base, methinks) and this time I’m told tomorrow morning.

So I decide to try the magic words. “Well then, cancel my service.” Boom, whisked over to a really nice guy named Mark. So then Mark:

1. Tells me that my account has been “expired”
2. Informs me that the phone number assigned to my datacard has been released or reassigned
3. Tries to call his help desk, to get it fixed
4. Tells me his help desk is closed, that he will have to “fix it [him]self over the internet”
5. Takes my phone number and tells me he’s going to call me back

An hour goes by, Mark calls me back and says I’m all set. The card is able to connect again. I still can’t log into sprint.com, Mark tells me to try my password in upper case. Still nothing. So I’d imagine that the password is screwed up and I’ll never be able to talk to customer service again. (He tells me to do the lost password thing, I explain to him that it sends a text message with the password which is irretrievable from the data card, he laughs at this.)

I explain to Mark that I’ve called customer service a LOT and that I don’t want to do that anymore cos I don’t want Sprint to fire me as a customer. He laughs and tells me those people are “1/1000 of the 50,000,000 customers” they have (he did his math wrong), that they called in a LOT and that they had free service for months and months, and then he gives me some b.s. assurance that THIS TIME it is a done deal. I say right, but I’m rapidly becoming that customer you describe due to Sprint’s screwups that result in calls and credits to my bill. He laughs at this and says “yeah, I can see that.” Is that a threat? I don’t know anymore, I feel like the laws of the universe don’t apply to this situation.

As Mark and I are wrapping up the call, he says some funny things.

1. I ask “are there any other ways that my service will be screwed up in the next few weeks?” He laughs and says “Oh, [ha ha] there’s a million things that can go wrong [ha ha ha].” That instills confidence.
2. Then he says, and I kid you not, “Thanks for calling Sprint, and I’m glad we could take care of it in one call tonight, now you have a good evening.”

So I am going to have a good evening. Luckily, I have 2-5 internet connections at any given time; I’m always evaluating and recommending new technologies and incorporating them into projects. If you are thinking about using Sprint’s data service and relying upon it in any way, here’s a hearty recommendation AGAINST following that course of action. I know I will never use their service in any kind of project I do that requires an internet connection. HSDPA through Cingular/AT&T is probably better even with the whole latency thing. Yeah, the connection will be slower, but maybe it will stay on for more than 36 hours at a time.

Maybe somehow this will be the last time I need to contact them. ha ha ha

Wow. This is rapidly becoming the Sprint Sucks blog. If I were sane, I’d have canceled this service when the first problems were appearing, but I really wanted unlimited data on a fast cellular network, and Verizon kills people if they use too much data.

So this time I was able to use my FX720 card for a whole 36 hours. The “Account Retention Specialist” last time credited back the entire cost of the card plus first month service, and told me ABSOLUTELY I would have no problems going forward. Thank you I said.

So I mentioned before that they wanted a $100 deposit from me in exchange for a $400 spending limit. Even though I provided my credit card information on 3 separate occasions, it went MIA and the just billed it to my account. Sprint credited all of that money back, so my balance is something like $51 for some prorated crap and some taxes.

So…

Today my service stops. I switch to non-NDIS mode and it starts telling me I have an invalid username/password. A 35 minute hold period later, I get a customer service representative who tells me that yes, my account has been suspended. I ask “why this time?” She tells me I’m over my spending limit.

Me: “How much do I owe?”

She: “$51.73.”

Me: “Ok, so how much is my spending limit?”

She: “Let’s see, it’s… Hmm, you don’t have a spending limit.”

Me: “So if I have no limit, why is my service suspended.”

She: “I mean your spending limit is $0.”

Me: “Oh, right. That makes sense. Why is that?”

She: “You never paid the $100 deposit.”

Right, I’d only provided my credit card information 3 times previous to various people and had reference numbers (which mean nothing apparently) but here we go again. I give her my card info, she gives me a reference number (why?) and then she tells me that my service will be back on in about 1 hour. I ask her to do whatever the other people did the 3 other times this has happened, and turn it on right away, since this is their screwup yet again, and she says she did her best, sorry.

Amazing. I mean really and truly amazing.

My first cell was a Sprint PCS phone in the 90s. See my last post for the story there, but I thought I’d try them again after 8+ years, especially since they have cool data plans.

Friday, got the card. Saturday, EV-DO stopped working, the card would only connect 1xRTT, 1 day after activating unit and 1 day before I leave for trip, which is why I chose now to start service.

11:33pm, car is packed, so I think maybe I’ll call Sprint and see if I can straighten this out.

Called 1-800-SPRINT1, entered my phone number. System told me that I owe $508.59 which is more than my $400 spending limit, so they have interrupted my service. Not sure how this is possible – I paid online with a credit card for my initial card purchase, and I have an unlimited data plan. Transferred me to “finance.”

Talked to finance. They asked a bunch of identifying information, then told me no information matches the account, asked me for my password (I never set one up) and then transfered to “customer care.” 15 minute hold.

Talked to “Alex” in Eastern Europe somewhere in customer service. He told me no information matches the account, asked for password (I never set one up) went into robot mode of “I’m sorry, protocol states that if I can’t positively identify you, etc.” Even after explaining what was going on, would not transfer to a supervisor (can’t do that without positive ID either). As I begged him to help, he suddenly blind transferred me to a random customer service number that was closed.

Called 1-800-SPRINT1 again, entered my phone number. System told me that I owe $508.59 which is more than my $400 spending limit, so they have interrupted my service. Transferred me to “finance.”

Talked to Robin. Told her that I felt like a non-entity or that I was losing my mind. She checked my account, it was all someone else. Gave her the ESN from the device, same account. Then I asked if I could give her my info and could she look it up that way. She found some kind of account, but wasn’t sure what to do about it. After telling her the story about how I called into Sprint to unlock my card on Friday, she said it matched her notes, so she fixed my account after consulting with a supervisor.

Then she told me that I owe Sprint $508. Turns out they charged full price for my phone instead of applying the discount that sprint.com was offering. She told me I would have to argue that with Customer Service. After trying to transfer me 3 times, and the system doing really weird things, she game me a phone number to call, 877-661-3933.

Called 877-661-3933. After providing my phone number, she told me that I had to call another number for customer service on my account from now on, 877-541-5705. She told me she had no transfer codes available for that department and I would need to dial direct.

Called 877-541-5705. Got a message that the department was closed until Monday morning.

Called 1-800-SPRINT1 again, entered my phone number. System told me that I owe $508.59 which is more than my $400 spending limit, so they have interrupted my service. Transferred me to “finance.” A woman in finance transferred me to customer care, which told me they were closed.

12:30am. Still no service. Leaving on my trip in the morning.

Sprint just STRAIGHT UP SUCKS. I think about going to sleep, but wow.

12:43am, After stewing for 15 minutes, I called 1-800-SPRINT1 again, entered my phone number. System told me that I owe $508.59 which is more than my $400 spending limit, so they have interrupted my service. Transferred me to “finance.”

Talked to finance. The person this time is looking into the charges.

I’M BEGINNING TO UNDERSTAND HOW SOMEONE MIGHT HAVE CALLED SPRINT 35 TIMES IN ONE MONTH.

Transferred to Account Escalations. “Desiree” looks at the account. $175.00 discount on the data card never went on. Plus, even though I entered credit card information on the website, it was never used and so nothing was paid for. Hence the $508.59 balance. Thankfully, she is sane, so she restores my service and notes the account that discount wasn’t applied. She tells me I have to call in tomorrow to get the order credit. So that’s ANOTHER call to Sprint. Maybe I’ll get dismissed by Sprint for excessive customer service calls.